Radical as I always was

2008-08-20T10:54:00.002Z

I've actualy changed my mind about some things written on this blog. I've just made it public again because its the easyest way of refuting certian lies that are being said about me

cough

2008-01-29T19:13:00.000Z

probably no one reads this any more, but if you do. I'm over here

Never fear!

2007-03-20T17:01:00.000Z

Monday morning promise,

In which the nectarine uses her litcrit geekossity to discuss monsters and how cultural tropes are not owned by certain sections of society

2007-01-18T17:33:00.000Z

So belledame222 wrote

oh, well, as per frankenstein, they lay claim to that too, or at least luckywhosis did, i remember--she was threatening to write something about how that was really a parable of male appropriation of womens' bodies,

And you know frankeinstein can be read in such a way that it is about how men “create” women, I studied that very phenomonen a lot in uni because its something I'm very interested in. But one of the beautiful things about frankenstien and indeed the whole idea of the monstrous other is its nebulousnes, the fact that it is possible for there to be so many ways of reading, interpreting, and using the idea of the monstorous.

The idea of monstrosity is a strong and recurrent cultural trope that has been used by all sections of society pretty much for ever, Baldick points out that the idea of the monster has always had strong cultural resonance in relation to subversion:

“Long before the monster of Frankenstein, monstrosity already implied rebellion”1

so this would have been in the collective cultural consciousness of both Mary shelley and her readers and could be used to draw metaphors with the different literary movements the text came out of and the political influences that inspired it, as it still can be today. The trope of monstrosity has been used by writer from all places on the political specturum, In light of the fact that frankenstien is being discussed here it is sensible to use the contemporaneous examples of Burke and Paine and how they were both reacting to the same events and using the same metaphor but ending up at almost diametrically opposite positions. Burkes Reflections on the French Revolution was a vehemently anti revolutionary text which uses strong rhetorical and metaphorical language to describe those who took part in the revolution as monsters, whereas Paine who wrote The Rights of Man which fundamentally disagreed with Reflections also used the metaphor of monstrosity but instead of using it to describe revolutionaries, he used it to describe the aristocracy.

literature is not created in a vacuum but is embedded and created in the culture it arises from. A Marxist interpretation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein would have to take in to account the cultural and historical events surrounding the text, for example, the French revolution and the general upheaval in Europe and how that affected English politics and society Frankenstein can be seen a metaphor for the French government with

“the novelty, the rationality, the irrationality, in the consciously artificial order of revolutionary france 3

Some readings of the text would suggest that the text (or any text) has no definitive reading because of the complex way it was created. However this does not mean that it cannot be read in certain ways. By certain sections of society, at certain times in history it could be read as a reaction to capitalism, the industrial revolution and an alienated social order. and it is also possible to read it from the perspective of feminism, queer theory and as a critique of racism. A very strong symbol of alienation is the fact the monster has no name, which could be used to represent those parts of society who have no voice or authority. The text can be seen to explore how an alienated social order creates people who reject that society and so are again rejected by that society so becoming “other” and cannot overthrow the dominant powers because of this.

The text of Frankenstein can be read conservatively or radically in Political Shakespeare Dollimore argues that oppressed or marginalized groups often create their own meaning which is then co-opted by the dominant ruling groups to control them. but it is an eternal dialectic in which the marginalizes groups will always find there own ways of creating meaning. Dollimore suggests all texts and all culture should be read subversively

Ruling culture does not define the whole of culture, though it tries to, and it is the task of the oppositional critic to re read culture so as to amplify and strategically position the marginalized voices of the ruled exploited, oppressed and excluded4

or in fact write it using the same metaphors from different angles as the opressors.

I would argue that both the monstrous and the carnivalesque are spaces which the opressed, the otherised can carve out spaces for themselves to move and gather strength in.

lastly, there is no such thing as compleate originality, if you grow up in broadly the same culture as someone you will absorbe the same cultural tropes that they do

The work of art is the product of a negotiation, between a creator or class of creators, equipped with a complex, communally shared repertoire of conventions and the institutions and practices of society5

1 Baldick, C In Frankenstein’s shadow (New York: Oxford University Press,1987)p13
2 Baldick, C In Frankenstein’s shadow (New York: Oxford University Press,1987)p17
3Baldick, C In Frankenstein’s shadow (New York: Oxford University Press,1987)p16
4 Dollimore, J. Sinfield, A, eds., Political Shakespeare (Manchester: Manchester University Press,1989) p14
518 Bennet, A Royle, N Introduction to Literature, Criticism and Theory ,third ed
( Edinburgh: Pearson education limited,2004)p116 (originally Greenblatt)

Thinking about honesty

2007-01-15T19:50:00.000Z

This has nothing to do with recent ruckus in the blogsphere, I've been thinking about it for a while. This is not my personal blog, my personal blog is elswhere and I use it to rant and whine and just genraly ramble on about stuff that either isn't relavant or is too personal to put here.
but I've been thinking: when does something become TOO personal? There are things I want to talk about on this blog that would make a whole lot more sense if readers had some backstory, some information about me but then i think but if I talk about stuff, if I really tell the truth I wont be taken seriously politicaly, wont be taken seriously as a feminist, as a woman, as a person, might not even be believed, or people would react to me diferently in the future, see me as "weird"

So I'm wondering what would you consider "too much" information in a forum such as this, what would make you take someone less seriously, or think they were weird or insane or whatever?

and what are the things that you arnt saying about yourself on your blog that maybe you want to say (use anon commenting for this if you want)

This is all I have to say, draw your own conclusions

2007-01-12T18:50:00.000Z

So, I kind of consider my self kind of hardcore on the radical feminist stakes, I don’t buy into beauty practices, I don’t wear heels, I don’t dress feminine, I'm anti religion, anti marriage, anti porn, anti psychiatry, I think the current western construct of "family" is really bad for everyone, I'm pro choice, anti capitalism, ect, ect, blah, blah, blah and onwards and I don’t apologise for these political alignments

But, my best friend, the woman I love most in the world, who I would do anything for, who I have been really close to for twenty years, who may very probably have been my lover if she wasn’t entirely heterosexual, wears a padded bra, lives in heels, wears "girly" clothes is a pro life Christian in an extremely traditional heterosexual relationship (she does the ironing he pays the mortgage) never has any idea what is ever going on in the world outside her bubble.

Its not that we don’t talk about the differences between us, its not that we don’t talk about the important things in our lives, we do frequently, in fact I would go so far as to say she is one of the few people that I feel I can really let my guard down with. partly I think that this is because we are so different we have nothing invested in the labels each other gives to themselves but actually mainly I think its because she has always had my back, always been on my side, always been steady and reliable when I needed her, she is my rock and I don’t give a fuck how different she is from me.

I am not a bumble bee

2007-01-08T07:19:00.000Z

I am a WOMAN
And my (both metaphorical and literal)home is open to any woman of any stripe, who needs a place to hide, a place to sleep, a place to cry, a place to heal,a plate of food. I know what I beleive, I know where I'm standing but this does not mean that I have the right to tell other women who are also strugling with intersecting oppresionxs that I will only support them in that struggle if they align themselves in at exactly the same angle I do.

The Politics of Blogroling

2007-01-06T10:56:00.000Z

In the interests of honesty and education I have updated my blogroll. These are the women I have on my bloglines feed so every time they post I read what they write. Pretty much the only thing they have in common is that they are women and I know I may well piss everybody off by putting women with such a wide range of political perspectives and views together but these are women who make me think and who I learn from even if I don't agree with them. I do consider myself a radical feminist (though there are people who consider me "not radical enough" and others who consider me "too radical") But I don't want to read only what radical feminists have to say and I don't want take part in the seige mentality culture that often takes place in all hyper politicised groups of people.
A lot of these blogs I don't even comment on for various reasons and I'd really apreciate it if you come across a blogger through my blogroll that you really don't agree with that you didnt start a flame war with them.
I will never delink someone because of what she writes because to me putting someone on your blog does not mean you condone eveything they say. Neither will I delink anyone beacuse they dont like being in the same blogroll as person X

Deborah Orr from The Independent Friday 29th December 2006

2007-01-02T04:01:00.000Z

The final moment of shared experience this year, I guess, has been the universal shock and revulsion that greeted the ipswitch murders. It's too early to say whether the effect is temporary or not. But one of the more positive things that has come out of this awfull crime has been a general willingness to understand and sympathise with the women whose lives have been lost.
The problems of women who sell sex on the streets include child sexual abuse, drug addiction, care leaving, poverty, mental illness, poor educational attainment and all the rest of the usual stuff that makes people unable to compete on the inside of our skills-based market. One keeps on hoping that the capable population will wake up to the complexity and intractability of social exclusion, and find it in themselves to blame a little less and understand a little more. It would be a decent legacy to the suffolk women who died

National Blogging while drunk day!

2006-12-29T20:53:00.000Z

I Just told my partner it was national “Droging While Blunk day” so you know that’s kind of where I’m at

I love ideas, I love theory, I love talking politics and philosophy, I get stupidly exited about academic texts, sheesh I got the piss taken out of me at uni for being too geeky, in short I am a nerdilicious girly swot (or should that be womanly swot? hmm maybe) And I hate that we live in a culture that is so horribly anti intellectual and at this point someone is going to throw at me “but its okay for you, you have privilege” well bollocks, I mean I do have privilege but when most people of my socioeconomic background were doing the university thing I was either working crap jobs or stuck in the revolving door culture of phych units and I was still reading theory, even if I didn’t understand it all, even though I didn’t really have a framework to hang it on, So I think no ones got any excuse for you know just picking up a book now and then

But

theory is nothing with out practice, one of the main things that pissed me of about uni was that all these students would regurgitate whatever they had learned from their lecturers or studying or whatever and the compentmartalisation of that knowledge was really obvious, hardly any students ever took anything they learnt and went “hmm, you know how does this relate to the world “ one moron was absolutely hooked on Leavis, yes because obviously literature is completely timeless and has nothing to do with the time and culture its written in, the person in question then used Shakespeare as an example of timeless literature. I mean really do I have to make you eat Greenblat for you to understand anything he’s saying?

so where was i? oh yes I have read a whole bunch of feminist theory and thought a whole bunch about it and will continue to do such things But actually this doesn’t really change things, for me, for anyone unless u I use it as a foundation to work from to start my political activism so this year I have decided to put my money where my mouth was

and you know I think calling people names in the name of “feminism” is childish at best and anyway what the fuck does “handmaiden of the patriarchy” even mean? where does that even come from for fucksake, and you know what ? to me it sounds suspiciously like calling someone “traitor”

and what’s with this

I hate to be picky, but the person who wrote this isn't a radical feminist for two reasons- a radical feminist would never be intimate with a man or a person who was born male

What? Plenty of women who consider themselves radical feminists have been intimate with people who were born male plenty of radical feminist theorists have been for fucks sake, I think the terms the commentor was looking for are, separatist, and Political lesbian, also isn’t this incredibly narrow minded privileged view of radical feminism,. what it actually insinuates is only women who can live independently earn their own money and aren’t coerced or forced into marriage can be radical feminists, which to me is kind of saying that any feminist work done by women in countries where women do not have the freedoms that we have isn’t radical even though in those situations the women in question have a whole lot more to loose than I or the commentor ever will, that seems pretty radical to me.

Seriously anyway, the point I’m trying to get to is this

I don’t care,
really
I don’t care about the insular blog wars, about who’s calling who a feminist or a traitor or what ever. what I care about is what are you doing
What are you doing to make a difference for women, for feminism?
Are you standing beside me on the things we do agree on?

So I’ve decided my new years resolution is to be more active with my feminism

1)Build web site for the feminist group
2)Volunteer at the women’s refuge
3) Take part in race for life
4)also I sent an email to women in black asking if they could put me in touch with the coordinators of the Cardiff group and they were like “actually do you want to coordinate it seeing as we can’t get hold of them can we put you down as a contact?” and I’m thinking “gulp um..er” I’m not sure yet I’d really want someone else to help me but if there is no one else I guess I’ll do it.
5) Also I might join the women’s institute because, well, they seem pretty cool

I have no idea if this will make any sense in the morning but well, such is life. love to you all

Where I'm standing right now

2006-12-24T20:48:00.000Z

So I’ve been away, and I didn’t think that I’d actually done much political thinking while I wasn’t around but actually I surprised myself, so I think I should clarify the position I’m coming from now.

1) I do not believe (and have never believed) that pornography and prostitution are the foundation that patriarchal misogyny is based upon. I believe they are a symptom of misogyny and then perpetuate misogynistic lies. I will fight for the eradication of both as most women do not have the choice to take part in prostitution and the argument that some enjoy it/make a satisfying living out of it is akin to the argument that capitalism is okay because a miniscule amount of people make megabucks from it.

2) While fighting porn and giving women choices other than prostitution are important they are by far not the only thing that need changing in this society and they include but are not limited to, violence against women, racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, reproductive rights,(and issues around motherhood,) international women’s issues, economic and educational oppression of women, prejudice against women with mental health issues, prejudice against women with disabilities. I will be educating myself about, writing about and being as active as I can on all these issues.

3) I am aware that many women disagree with me on many issues, however this does not mean I wont A) listen to them, B) work with them on issues that cover the common ground between us, and C) support them in anyway I can if things go pear shaped for them.

4) I changed my mind on many issues surrounding transgender, not least because I have been catching up on the feminist blogshpere and am absolutely shocked and horrified at the views and reactions of women who consider themselves to be open minded and unprejudiced and seem to be refusing to treat trans women as human let alone women. (I am writing a blog post about this to explain it further)

5) I refuse to be ashamed of or play down my bisexuality for fear of being accused of "not being radical enough" or "letting the side down"

So to begin, bits and peices

2006-12-21T19:07:00.000Z

I was tagged by
V ages ago before I dissapeared of the planet, so here goes. Erm apparently I lost number four.

1. One book that changed your life?

Promiscuities by Naomi wolf, Theres a whole bunch of stuff really wrong with this book and it does look at sexuality from a liberal feminst standpoint but it was the first time I realised that it was both normal and okay for women to have sexual feelings and autonomous sexualities.

2. One book you have read more than once?
Watership Down

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The God Of small things, Lyricaly beautifull and heartbreaking and absoloutley making the conection about the personal and political (also incredible insight into the way children think)

5. One book that made you cry?
I think the only book I ever cried in was "Dragons of spring dawning" can't remember who wrote it but its part of the Dragonlance series.

6. One book you wish had been written?
I have no idea

7. One book you wish had never been written?
Emile: Or, On Education By Rousseau, Had a masively negative impact on female sterotypes
and education for women.

8. One book you are currently reading?
Women and madness: Mysogyny or mental illness, by Jane M. Ussher

9. One book you have been meaning to read?
Outercourse by Mary Daly

So anyway, what is the news in the blogsphere? Whos new and whos not around anymore?

Well, hey

2006-12-20T17:02:00.000Z

Yes indeed, as witchy woo says it is nearly Christmas. Sorry for the absence, things got difficult for me, I was extremely burned out at the end of uni and emotionally, intellectually and politically exhausted. I became unsure of what I had to say to the world and whether the world was interested, I spent a lot of time hiding in Buffy and playing World of Warcraft. But here I am, I hooked up with a group of local feminists which is a real relief and a breath of fresh air for me. I'm slowly getting back in the swing of things, I am thinking I am going to try for one post a week to begin with. I hope you are all okay

2006-08-10T01:03:00.000Z

I havn't fallen off the planet, i have just been stupidly busy. Hopfully have a post up on saturday

Nothing Safe to sacrifice

2006-07-18T00:10:00.000Z

They will start with little things.Things too small for you to care about. The tone of your voice, the tilt of your head, sheilding your eyes from the light.And they will pretend this is a kind of protection to keep you safe, to stop you being noticed, to stop you becoming blind. But it becomes more, wraping you in bandages so you dont bruise, cutting out your tounge so you dont tear it on your teeth, shearing of your hair so no one can grab it from behind.

And this you teach your own children, your own daughters, so the powers that be approve of you, see how obedient you have become holding the line for your enemies.

And you are afraid, I know that, I can see that, of what else they will ask for, or what else they will take, from both yourself and your children if you do not let them erode you drip by drip

But with some of us everything did get taken so we have nothing left to loose, some of us have been so far down we know where the lies stop and the bedrock begins and you may think our edifices are unstable but the reason they sway is because we built them to withstand earthquake

My children will not be worn away by a world that tells them because they are female everything is wrong with them, my children will not be worn away by a world that tells them bigger, younger, thinner, straighter, richer, whiter, maler is better. Because these lies so badly burnt me I will teach every child I meet that this is not the way it was ever meant to be.

The light is ours now and we are coming up for air

Grump, grump, grump

2006-07-17T20:39:00.000Z

Yes I am in an extremly bad mood

1)It appears to be illegale for women to wear any kind of foot wear other than variations on sequined strappy heels. Seriously, I desperatly needed a new pair of shoes and went into cardiff where there were loads of sales so I thought I'd get something easily but no, it took me hours to find anything remotly resembling what I needed. If I could I would have bought mens shoes but my feet are too narrow. What pisses me of even more than the distinct lack of shoe choice is that for me my foot wear is not a choice I have to wear sturdy comfortable boots with plenty of ankle support because If I dont:
a)I cant stand up
b)I'm in considerable pain
c)my ankles collape

2)I am uber pissed with all this "but prostitution is a choice" shit and want to write about my experiences of being prostituted but the people who need to read it either don't come hear would just say I was biased because I had unplesant experiences with it.(tis also kind of graphic and disturbing)

3) I dont even have words to express how furious I am about the Israel/lebanon bulshit (and Blair and Bushes reaction to)

4)It seems even those men who we think "get it" can't see the woman for the leg hair

A call to arms

2006-07-14T21:48:00.000Z

I refuse to be. In
the madhouse of the inhuman
I refuse to live.
With the wolves of the market place

M Tsvetayeva

2006-06-25T22:08:00.000Z

I think critique is a good thing and I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying “actually I think you're wrong about that and this is why…” as long as we let other women come back at as with their own reasoning obviously we don’t ever have to agree with them but we do have to listen to them and we have to be able to examine our reactions enough that we can examine our defensiveness.

I hate it when I hear woman saying to each other across the internet “but you are attacking me and that is so not allowed” an online difference of opinion is not being attacked you are not in any danger from this other persons words and I think it completely minimises the problem’s of those who are getting attacked in the literal sense of the word. Telling some one you feel that they are attacking or silencing you is actualy a passive agressive way of trying to do the same thing to them and pretty much translates as "shut up you hurt my feelings and that's so against the rules."

To me being "attacked" means being thrown against walls being kicked in the ribs, having my hair pulled out, being choked, being suffocated, being raped, it does not mean someone somewhere on the internet strongly and possibly impolitely dissagreeing with me.

Being "silenced" means having your cultural forms of production shut down, being threatend with prison, ostracism, violence, death it does not mean some one refusing to post your comments on her blog.

Both of these things involve a level of power over that we as women do not have over each other through a computer screen.

We do not have to agree with each other, we do not even have to like each other
I think that I don't actualy care if I hurt the feelings of someone who reads this, If it is just your feelings that have ever been hurt then maybe you should examine how lucky you are anyway. I wont go out of my way to hut others feelings but I will say what needs to be said. I really think that in a forum such as a blog worrying about hurting peoples feelings is liberal bullshit. What I care about is wether women are safe and strong and out from under the patriarchy and I will do what I can to help any woman, anywhere get into that position. There is work to be done and I dont think it involved soothing ruffled feathers.

Conected to this is the fact that for me one of the absolute bottom baselines of feminism is that we examine our choices and behaviours and I hate the idea that often seems to bleed through that we can't call a woman on her choices because somehow all choices women make have an apolitical virtuousness about them, or all choices are equally made to “survive patriarchy.” I understand this and on lots of levels in lots of cases I agree with it, all across the world millions of women do things that they maybe know damages them selves or their sisters so they can survive patriarchy but I don’t think most of the women reading this fit in that box. I am talking about women who do what they do to stay alive, to feed their children, to keep a roof above their heads. I will not argue with those women about their choices because they are not choices they are survival strategies I will work to change things so they can get to a place where they can make choices. I am quite prepared however to discuss the choices women with privilege make but I don’t think this is about attacking or “silencing” anybody (and I would argue that any woman reading this is in a position of privelige.)

As a rule women don’t have each others best interests at heart and this is not a fault in us but a fault in the culture (yep the good old “divide and rule” rule of the Capriarchy) that always teaches us to read everything through the male gaze to become male identified, to see other women as threatening and it takes work and support from each other to become woman identified to see the world through woman’s eyes to make each other matter and the only people that are going to help us do that are other feminists. So we need to call each other out we need to challenge behaviours and assumptions I think what is important is the way we do it.

Firstly I do think reading something on a computer that was written by someone you don’t know inherently creates miss translations and disconnects.

One of the main problems I have seen is omeone reading a post and reponding to something init that wasnt in it, making conections that were never in the origional post in the first place.

So I think the thing to do is read the post like three times just to make sure what it is actualy saying not what we think it is saying or want it to be saying and when commenting or critiquing not to make assumptrions about what else this means about her beliefs and make sure she did actually say what you think she said.

Then even if we do vhemenently disagree I don’t think name calling helps, I have seen in discusions:
“Bigoted Bitch”
“Feminazii”
“Humourless”
“soulless”
“Fembots”
none of us are perfect and I don’t think any of us claim to be but why the name calling, it just inflames discusions it is perfectly posible to strongly and compleatly disagree with someone without resorting to kindergarten tactics or accusing them of "attacking" or "silencing" you.

A ramble about Woman only space

2006-06-24T18:02:00.000Z

My university had a ratio of three women to one man, to me this was awesome it meant a lot of the time I spent exclusively with women, you’d think because of this it would be very woman aware wouldn’t you? Pfft, no such luck

It took us ages to persuade the support staff (porters, accommodation, estates etc) that not only was it not best practice to go into a woman’s room without another female it was extremely disrespectful and often threatening to the woman whose space it was.

In my second year I lived in an exclusively female hostel, however in my third year I had to live in mixed accommodation, My friends who rented a flat together on campus asked specifically that it be women only and were completely ignored by the accommodation officer.

I sat in a union council meeting where it was argued that because of the gender split the college needed a men’s officer as well as a women’s officer and it didn’t occur to anyone to wonder why if men were underrepresented because of this there were sixteen people in the room and only three of them were female

As women’s officer I wasn’t allowed to book women only nights in the union

I think because of experiences like this most women especially young women don’t understand that women only space is a possibility, often due to the cultural assumption that getting and keeping a man is the only thing that matters

Its not just actual physical space its emotional space as well one of the things that drives me barmy if I plan to spend time with one of my friends and she spends that time texting her male partner, or incessantly talking about him to the detriment of all other conversations.

The thing is women only space is not just group space, it is us only space too

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately especially in light of something Amy wrote Over here on Feminist reprise It really made me rethink some things, With all my partners when space and money have made it possible I have always had my own room, originally this was because I use to suffer from sensory overload and I would have times when I didn’t ever want to be physically near anybody, currently also because I am completely half assed when it comes to tidiness and my partner its not, and our sleep patterns very rarely meet in the middle due to work hours etc, anyway somewhere in the back of my head was the idea that when I was, better (which means what, I wonder) I wouldn’t need my own room anymore because I would be comfortable enough to share “the main” (ie his) room every night.

I have to say I am really surprised at myself for not thinking this through before because I think a lot about the way people sleep (for example one of my best friends and I regularly cuddled up in a single bed to sleep at uni and sooo many people thought that was so strange that it really made me think about culture and sleep behaviours)

But why would I automatically want to share a room with someone all the time just because we emotionally connect, why wouldn’t I want my own space where I can keep my stuff and have it all the way I want it? Where I can fall asleep when I want to without us having to negotiate when to turn the lamp of, when I can watch films I like rather than coming to the compromise of watching a film that neither of really want to watch but we thought the other one might like it. Where we know the times we curl up together it is because we really want to be there not because there is nowhere else to go.

Also I think there’s a thing about virtual women only space, of the women I love: Two are currently in America, two are in Ireland, two are in London, and one is in mid Wales, which doesn’t seem far, but is still a six hour train ride, public transport being what it is. And several are down on the south coast. But none of them are where I’m going to be. And my main connections with them at the moment is telephone and email, I think it is really important to make about making the effort, about making space in our lives exclusively so I can answer the emails or phone these women, about not putting it off because “I have more important things to do” and not letting ourselves get distracted by that, okay maybe I’m demanding but it drives me crazy if one of my friends phones me up and insists on doing something else at the same time, also boyfriends, one of my friends had a boy friend who every single time I phoned her would start clamouring for attention as if he were a six year old child. If we want to talk to each other, however we are doing it shouldn’t we do it properly? Shouldn’t we say to the men around us “I am going to/am interacting with this person now go away and maybe they will get pissed of, but if we matter to each othe wont we deal with that? I was in a situation where I hadn’t seen one of my friends for a week or so and I was in her room halls at uni, and some guy I didn’t know from Adam and she only knew because she had been allocated to live with him came in (without knocking) and sat on her desk and started talking crap, and he was so pissed when I said “actually this is a private conversation please leave” but so what?

And then in the summer I went to stay with a friend (the one I share a bed with so you know we are kind of close) and despite her telling her boyfriend that I was going to be there and that she was going to be spending time with me he found an excuse to be in her house every single day by the end it really felt as if he felt like he was having a lamppost pissing contest.

I do have a male partner and two other male friends but I am trying to make my life as women orientated as I feel is possible for me and that does mean having time and space both just for my self and just for other women. (strange as this may sound I might join the women’s institute!)

So this means
Not bothering making any more connections with men except those currently important to me
Only Buying books and music and other cultural products created (and if at all possible, produced, published, etc by Women)
Making sure my political activism is focusing on women’s issues,
Arranging my social time with mainly women that doesn’t include men.
Trying to get a job that involves women as my main client base.

There must be more so all sugestions welcome.

Public service anouncement

2006-06-23T20:10:00.000Z

Just to say: there may be a break in transmission for about a week due to moving home from college and various issues with emotional fall out relating to that and general busynes. Though feel free to e-mail me if you like.

Have updated side bar in no particular order but these are the blogs I check everyday.

I have so much going round my head I can never decide what to write about, The first post on the mental health series is coming soon and I will probably write some stuff about ladyfest but what would you all like to see?

Ideas for activism.
Radical feminism and Heterosexual privilege.
The importance of women only space.
Knowing the enemy? Weather or not it is valuable to know what people on the other side think and how to do that without supporting them financially. (and by “other side” I mean scary right wingers, not other feminists)
Why we really need to get over this “oh you are judging me/hurting my feelings” thing when we are trying to engage in political debate.
And/or anything else you might be interested in and think I might enjoy writing about

See you soon

(and thanks for the comments on the thread about relationships, I have read them and am thinking on them)

And you never know Stray Girl might get off her backside and finish that post shes writing on eco-living!

Heads up

2006-06-21T23:10:00.000Z

==========
NCADC News Service
==========

Asylum from rape

Press Conference
11am Friday 23 June 2006
Trinity United Reformed Church
Buck Street
Camden Town
London NW1

Launch of three tools in defence of rape survivors' right to international protection ;

1. Misjudging rape - A Dossier of how adjudicators (now immigration judges) flout international law and even their own guidelines when they consider the asylum claims of women and girls seeking safety and protection from rape.

2. Claiming asylum from rape - A Rights Sheet

3. Asylum from Rape Petition - calling on the government to officially recognise rape as torture and persecution and therefore grounds for asylum, and to end the detention and deportation of rape survivors and their families.

Speakers:
Cristel Amiss - Black Women's Rape Action Project
Dr Frank Arnold - Medical Justice Network
Sian Evans - Women Against Rape
Louise Hooper - Garden Court Chambers
Paul Nettleship - Sutovic & Hartigan solicitors
Constance Kajumba - All African Women's Group

Rape survivors, at least 50% of women seeking asylum, face unprecedented obstacles in pursuing their asylum claims.

Because the specific persecution women face is not recognized by the UN Refugee Convention, rape survivors face an uphill battle establishing why they should be granted protection under the Convention. Like women reporting rape generally (only 5.6% of reported rapes result in conviction), they face hostility and disbelief. The Home Office and courts have ignored case law and international precedents to deny women protection. Finding respectful and thorough legal representation is virtually impossible and legal aid cuts mean that expert medical and other reports, without which claims are more likely to be dismissed, are seldom commissioned as supporting evidence. Women and children are soft targets for politicians vying to show who is "toughest" on asylum. When their asylum claims are closed, often before they have had a chance to speak in detail about the rape and other torture they have suffered, they and their children face destitution, detention and deportation.

To help overcome these obstacles and ensure women's claims are comprehensively and sympathetically considered, Black Women's Rape Action Project and Women Against Rape, in collaboration with All African Women's Group and Legal Action for Women, are launching three tools for rape survivors, legal representatives and all those concerned with human rights.

More information:
Black Women's Rape Action Project - bwrap@dircon.co.uk / http://www.bwrap.dircon.co.uk/
Women Against Rape - war@womenagainstrape.net / http://www.womenagainstrape.net/
Tel : 0207 482 2496, 07958 152 171 or 07980 659 831
Fax : 0207 209 4751

End of Bulletin:

Source for this Message:
Black Women's Rape Action Project
Women Against Rape

Discuss

2006-06-21T00:15:00.000Z

A woman in a heterosexual relationship will not fight as hard for the feminist cause as a woman who is not in a heterosexual relationship?

(And I'm moderating the comments because I want this to be a discusion not a mud fight)

Blog for women who support us

2006-06-19T23:56:00.000Z

She lived in halls like I did in the flat next door. Uni was a sad sort of surprise to me in some ways, I was perturbed at how conservative how reactionary many of the students were. And in the first few weeks I would have been lost without her.

Unlike most of the other students she knew what it was like to be poor and hungry, she knew what it was like to have to work for a living, She had shadows in her eyes that I recognised.

We got drunk together a fair few times, We scared ourselves shitless over horror films every night for about ten days, she used to get me to watch footballers wives with her because she said watching my irateometer rise was entertainment in itself, And we just talked for hours about everything

There was someone I connected to deeply, savagely dizzyingly who wasn’t an option except as a friend but she listened to me talk about that and she really understood it. One night I got outstandingly drunk and made a complete idiot of myself in front of said person and everybody else was like “god no don’t go and apologise they will think you are stalking them!” but she said “oh for fecks sake you ejit just go and say sorry, then you can salvage the friendship because it would be a real shame if you never spoke to each other again”

One winter, the winter of my second year my depression hit hard and I got sad and slow, with the taste of metal in my mouth, she was one of the ones that fed me, that let me sleep in her room, that let me just sit when I didn’t even have the energy to open my mouth. One night I burst into tears and talked of suicide which triggered a bizarre conversation between her and one of our other friends about how I couldn’t kill myself because I had to be buried in Ireland and even if they cut my body up and shared it out between them it would still go over the luggage limit, she always knew the balance, when to listen, when to give advice and when to call me out, when to talk on the level with me,

In that second year also I was warden for one of the halls that contained seventy women and I was expected to be on call almost 24/7 but also I was dealing with stuff in the other halls that the other wardens, some only being nineteen and not having my youth work experience, didn’t know how to deal with so this coupled with my depression and an extremely unsupportive line manager/support structure left me exhausted and frustrated and I would just rail at her about it and she would listen. But also she was very adept at giving me useful advice, at reading situations, at knowing what I needed

Writing this I’m thinking that I am not conveying very well how important she was and how much support she did give but I think isn’t that the point? Isn’t it the nature of women’s friendships that there is nothing particularly earth shattering. I can’t give you a list of all important things she did for me. She was just there, consistently, we shared a chunk of our lives, she listened to me, she gave me strength, we had fun together, she cooked for me, I gave her money to do her laundry, we talked about stuff that mattered, I had long discussions with her about disconnecting from my parents, she called me the night she got attacked, I told her about getting raped, she invited me to her graduation and I still don’t think she realises how much that meant to me.

Even after a year I still miss her but she is still a really important part of my life, I am waiting on an email from her and will phone her in about a fortnight. She went back to Ireland after she graduated and hopefully after I graduate I will go and see her.

Yeah, yeah, the blow job thing

2006-06-19T08:59:00.000Z

So I like to think I’m pretty hard core in the radical feminist stakes, not buying into beauty rituals, being pretty much anti everything the system tries to shove at us to shut us up or squish into specific shaped boxes and by making women important in my life, but I am in a heterosexual relationship so that does maybe skew the way I think about my feminism. I don’t think being in a heterosexual relationship is intrinsically non-feminist, It can be and it all too often is especially if it follows the dominant cultural model, but I don’t think it has to be.

Anyway I’ve been following all the arguments about blow jobs and I’m just like hmmm….

I had a discussion once with one of my best friends about our preferences on the matter, she said she hated giving them and so did all the women she knew but she then went on to say this was because all the men she or her friends had been with insisted on shoving their heads down towards their penises, would hold the back of their heads so the couldn’t come up for air, push way too far back in the throat and insist on coming in their mouths. Well hey I’m not surprised they don’t like it, if my partner did that to me I would be out the door before he could find the Kleenex. Also I think there is the issue that many (most?) men fetishise it to the point where it does become the be all of sex, where it is about domination, where the only model they use is the one found in porn.

But I think maybe there’s a problem where feminist discourse thinks this is all it can be, is it not possible not to see the penis as just another body part? (to disconnect the penis from the phallus as it were) after all I like sucking his fingers too, If we change the way we think about sex and don’t fetishise or prioritise the penis, penetration, or orgasm, if we move it from the centre of sex then doesn’t it become just another way of connecting? I have never ever and would never willingly do it on my knees, (which is the way it seems most women do it or visualise it being done) I would only do it if I was in the mood to do it, I wouldn’t be with a guy who so much thought it was his right that he tried to physically move me into the relevant position and I would never be with some one who whined and/or nagged me into doing it. In the same way I wouldn’t be with a woman who expected sexual activities from me. I also would never be with anyone who thought their (or even my) orgasm was the whole point of any sexual encounter.

I’m not arguing that because I like doing it then that is okay and dandy because I do believe how we have sex is really important to ourselves and other women but I can’t see why that one act is inherently patriarchal,

Comments and stuff from all angles would be welcome.

Family?

2006-06-12T08:39:00.000Z

In the run up to fathers day I am treated to more and more queries as to what I am going to buy my dad and when I supply a blank look and an “um nothing” it seems I am either pitied or seen as an ungrateful monster as if I should buy him something just because I have the label daughter and he has the label father.

I made a decision about a year ago that my life would be a whole lot easier if I broke contact with my parents. This has made me feel a whole lot happier about my life and left me with a whole lot more emotional energy but it seems I have to be answerable to the whole of society for being a bad daughter.
My partners sister recently spent three hours telling me why I should try and mend things between my parents, and how guilty I would feel eventually if I didn’t even after my partner and I told her separately that
a) there were damn good reasons why I didn’t see my parents and
b) it was none of her business.

Now there are really good reasons why I don’t see them but even if there weren’t would that matter? Why are we automatically presumed to have deep rich connections with people over who we had no control over weather they were in our lives or not? Why are we supposed to be more loyal to people who may live miles away from us who may know very little about our lives and who may have completely different view from us?

By family I mean the very culture/historically specific Heteropatriachal nuclear family.

As a radical feminist you’d think I’d argue that the family doesn’t work, well I don’t, I think the family works fine as long as if what we mean by fine is it does exactly what its designed to do and what its designed to do is teach rigid gender roles and divide society into little pods that all have an “us and them” mentality and an aversion to working together, while creating the need for as much consumption as possible. It fosters a complete lack of accountability because those without the power in the pod have no way of knowing that what goes on when the curtain of privacy is pulled is not normal, and they have very little recourse if they do realise this. And it gives women and children no recourse against male violence and aggression, because it separates them from sources of support. I would like to think that if people lived in bigger groups the level of domestic violence would fall massively.

And it isn’t just about the “problem” families that the media so much like to bang on about, it isn’t just that most families are good and some families go wrong. The family structure is basically flawed from where I’m standing. It teaches us to be competitive rather than co-operative, even in the best families it teaches us to look after our own rather than that everybody is “our own.” It teaches us to “need” far more than we actually do or would if we lived collectively . And because the family is still seen as sacrosanct still seen as essentially private things can get hidden and brushed under the carpet. What goes on within a family is essentially seen as nobody else’s business.

How many families, really happy families do you know? Even with the best will in the world from all the adults involved the family is pretty much set up to fail as a way of bringing up balanced people. Even on a surface level having a ratio of two adults to (usually) two (or more) children is absurd, The children don’t get anything like the examples in variation of human behaviour that they need and the parents are just knackered. And we still live in the world where most families most of the time split themselves into gender roles (most women in heterosexual relationships still do three quarters of the house work even when both partners are working full time, what is that about?)

Why is who you are related to by blood seen as more important than who you choose to relate to? (this is the case and can be seen in the way adoptive or not straight families aren’t seen as real as blood line families.)
The only reason blood is seen to matter is because of the importance the patriarchy puts on patrelinety, the only thing that matters about us is who our father is. And because of this such assumptions are made about who is important to us. One of my best friends graduated last year and invited me to the ceremony, throughout there was only talk of “family” who had come to the ceremony not friends, more worryingly are things such as if I ever got involuntarily sectioned by law it wouldn’t be either of my chosen next of kin (my partner or my oldest friend) who would make decisions regarding me it would be my “nearest relative” and currently there is nothing I can do about that, because of the assumption that “family” is more important than friends (which in itself is scary enough if you think about why a lot of women end up on psychiatric units in the first place.)

Also the ideal of family as in when “family values” are shouted about always mean married heterosexual pairings with children and any deviation on that is seen as “the erosion of marriage” by which is really meant the erosion of the heteropatrircal nuclear family as if that were a bad thing.

Although families fuck over so many people in this society it doesn’t matter because Capitalism needs expendables, it needs haves and have nots. It needs more families to supply both workers and consumers to the system.

There is always a loss for me because I refuse to buy the lie that family has to matter more than friends but I kind of feel second class sometimes because all the people who have the place in my life that “family” are supposed to they have their actual families who are by cultural demand much more important to them than I am.

Maybe the family as it stands is the heart of the capriarchy and I don’t know what to do about this because I do really want children but how can I bring them up in such a warped system?

2006-06-09T21:08:00.000Z

I am going to do the "Crazy like me" series but I realsed most of the books I need to do it are at home, so it shall be a couple of weeks yet

Putting our money where our mouths are

2006-06-09T20:31:00.000Z

What if we all only purchased cultural products created by women?
What we stopped making ourselves look other than we are to fit some cultural norm?
What if we re taught ourself the meanings of "succses" and "faliure" and that they are not what society says they are?
What if we taught our children this? (and I do not mean biological children that came from us I mean any children we come into contact with)
What if we kicked mysogynistic men out of our lives?
What if we taught ourselves a new concept of "family"
What if we learned how to make cleaning products that dont contain toxic chemicals?
What if we learned how to make soap and shampoo that didn't contain toxic chemicals?
What if we learned how to use plants and herbs for medicinal use?
What if we all only bought organic, free range, fair traded, non animal tested, sweatshop free and if at all posible localy produced products?
What if we stopped watching television?
what if we all used energy saving lights and turned all electrical apliances of at the wall?
What if we all joined a freecycle scheme and learned to live without what we couldnt get hold of?
What if we walked, cycled or took public transport when at all posible?
What if we gave three hours a week of our time to a charitable organisation?
What if we gave three hours a week of our time to other kinds of activism?
What if we educated ourselves about what is really going on in the world?

Who wants to come to Cardiff Ladyfest?

2006-06-07T00:11:00.000Z

So I live about eight miles from cardiff, but it is easy enough to get to by public transport and at the end of June Ladyfest is happening. Was wondering if anyone wanted to come and stay that weekend. This invitation is for women only

Things you might want to know

I have room for six on beds/sofa beds/sofas as long as some are willing to share but also plenty of floor space
I have five cats
I live with a man
The house is non smoking but you can smoke in the garden
we will all have to chip in for food and such

Crazy like me?

2006-06-06T00:29:00.000Z

I've decided to start writing series of posts critiquing diferent parts of the system and I am going to start with the mental health system this series will be called "crazy like me"

so I'm going to do one a week.

Crazy like me (1) I'm not crazy I'm wounded, stripping back labels
Crazy like me (2) Just another prison, the mental health system as repressive state aparatus
Crazy like me (3) Othering the Other, why women and minorities are more often labeled "crazy"
Crazy like me (4) Are you proud of me now? Why the "survivor" movement needs some radical feminist critique
Crazy like me (5) Who makes the rules round here? Mental health and the pharmacutical industry.
Crazy like me (6) Letters from the loony bin, personal reflectons on hospitalisation.

First one should be up by thursday!

Here's a thought

2006-06-05T18:21:00.000Z

I was going to write a post on the whole why make up is a radical feminist issue but I think that people are too defensive to read it at the mo so for the time being,

Just because I don't agree with you on everything doesn't mean we are not on the same side.
Disscusion is healthy and prevents stagnation within a movement
It is not okay for anyone to critique and hold acountable someones views or actions if they are not willing for people to do it back to them.

Also good books on the subject:

The Beauty Myth By Naomi Wolf before she sold out
and

Beauty and Misogyny: Harmful Cultural Practices in the West By the fabulous and ever challenging Sheila Jeffreys.

The things we do for each other

2006-06-04T00:46:00.000Z

But women are so much more vindictive and manipulative to each other than men are.

I could never live in a house full of just women, the atmosphere would be terrible.

Most of my friends are men, they are so much easier to get along with.

I'd rather have a son than a daughter, girls are so much more difficult than boys.

The media is obsessed with the things that women do to each other, the rivalry, the competitiveness, the jealousy the “cat fighting” And so often criticisms are thrown around in malestream society that women are “bitchy” or “catty” and find it impossible to get along with each other.

Even feminists are quick to point out women’s animosity towards each other albeit while pointing out the social constructed ness of this behaviour, and this behavior when it manifests (which is not as often as the malestream would have us believe) is caused by the patriarchal power structure teaching women that they must compete with each other for their ultimate life goal, a man, and because of this women must prioritise men and clamber over each other to get what they want (or in some cultures need.) The law of “Divide and rule” is after all one of the main pillars of the capriarchy. Hourihan argues that because of this:

Where status, comfort and security, perhaps survival itself, depend upon being chosen and valued by men, women’s natural enemies are each other”

Hite adds that as it isn't safe for the status quo if women learned to care about each other then:

any natural feelings of physical closeness or desire, love [between women] must be stamped out…lest women become too strong through their belief and trust in each other

I have a real issue with this, I compleatly agree with the political analysis and I’m not saying that women can’t or don’t treat each other abysmally, I have both treated women badly in my life and been treated badly by women so I know it does happen,and I think most of us do have a long way to go before we give other women the place and importance in our lives that they deserve. But I just think we miss a really important point when we get caught up in talking how horrible women are to each other. What I want us to think about is that despite a life time of being taught that our friendships are unimportant and inauthentic and we should never be able to trust each other, despite everything around us saying that our relationships with men are where should be putting all our energies we do come through for each other time and time again. We do it badly sometimes , we get it wrong, maybe we don’t do it as often as we could but we do do it. And I think that we need to remember that celebrate it and point it out to anyone who suggests other wise.

I for one can think of many, many more times when women have loved, supported and looked after me than when they have treated me like an untrustworthy rival.

Changing the terms of the game (or don't call me liberal)

2006-05-31T22:20:00.000Z

Too often I think we get caught up in the wrong argument

Professionally I cut my teeth working for a youth service in the south of England that was quite forward thinking and which employed a fantastic group of very strong women many of whom weren’t straight. Young people are obsessed with other peoples sexuality, and they would ask us often if we were gay, I learned from my colleagues not to give a straight (!) answer but to say "does it matter if I am?" or "why, do you think you might be?" or something similar depending on the circumstances. This had a threefold reason, firstly to make the young person rethink messages they had been given about sexuality by the wider society. secondly to give them an opening if they did want to talk about their sexuality and thirdly to protect those of us who weren’t straight and did not perhaps want to out ourselves to a group of unruly, often aggressive, young people.

We mustn't let other people dictate our terms for us. Saying "no" to that question and leaving it there does not challenge the homophobia society is built upon saying "no I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" sends out signals that say "look here’s proof I'm normal"

About five years ago I was quite involved in campaigns for the repeal of Section 28. One of the strands of the liberal argument was that it was a pointless law anyway that because homosexuality was something people were born with it was impossible to promote it. This bled into the wider liberal consciousness as "Well it's okay to be gay because its genetic"(which as well as being a lame ass political argument shows a complete lack of understanding of both genetics and the relationship between genetics and society.) A radical argument would be "No people aren’t always born with it and so what if we are promoting it? Hetrocentricism is a bad thing and we want to put this right."

over here (in the UK media) there’s quite a lot of grumbling about "the erosion of marriage" and how that's going to cause the whole of society to collapse because it is the main building block of said society. The liberal argument that comes back is that it isn't about the erosion of marriage; it's about giving people choices. Actually as a radical I am working to abolish marriage because it is one of the building blocks of this god-awful capriarchal (lookie! I invented a new word!) society.

Raising awareness of customs in other countries that harm people and take their rights away does not mean I am pro-globilisation

When I say I am anti religion i mean all religion, not just hardcore rightwing religion because I think any body of thought that encourages people to pas up their rights and hand over their lives to somebody/something else is exactly what radicals should be fighting against.

No it is not female jealousy that dictates I will not have a relationship with someone who uses porn or goes to lap dancing clubs it is the fact that women matter to me.

No the reason I've never fought for women to have "right" to fight in the front line is not because I think they are somehow inferior to men but because I've been too busy with women in black protesting against war in the first place.

The media is so dumbed down, so censored. The liberals call it right wing and the right wing call it liberal but either way I very rarely hear my own arguments, my own voice. And I think that sometimes this erodes our own arguments, makes us forget where we are or where we want to be standing. It makes us dish out pat answers to straw questions that are obscuring what the fight is really about.

It isn't about keeping things as they are, it is about rocking the status quo. It is about letting people know that you are not buying into the binary opposites rubbish but that there are different angles to fight from.

2006-05-30T21:44:00.000Z

So, much discussion in the blogsphere on whether certain branches of politics need to be about actions or just about understanding. After having thought about this I think it does matter how you behave.

Marx said
The point is not to understand the world the point is to change it

I would argue that to be able to change the world you have to understand it first but his main point is correct. After all It doesn’t matter how impeccable your critique of something is , if you don’t act on that critique nothing changes. Plenty of people I went to university with claim to understand the theorys of feminism, socialism, anti capitalism, but none of them are going to make a difference to how the world works because they don’t apply it in their lives.

In this society there are sacrifices I make to be able to survive and I live with that, there are other things I do though that I know the doing of them weakens my political position and waters down my political activism, every time I shop at a supermarket, every time I don’t challenge a racist comment, but I am actively working on getting to a point where my life is in line with my political philosophy

The reason I am a Radical rather than a liberal is because I do not believe in an anything goes philosophy, I do believe in absolutes, I do believe in personal responsibility and I do believe that to get to the root of the worlds problems we do have to act, and act on both macro and micro levels for the world to change we not only have to change, government, laws, institutions but we also have to change our behaviour, we have to fight for what we want what we and everybody else on the planet is due and we have to not buy into on any level at all if we can possibly help it any of the capitalist patriachal bullshit

This doesn’t mean I wont stand shoulder to shoulder with those who I think sell out in some ways on some levels, I think we all do that some of the time but i firmly beleive that if you are aware that you are doing something that is upholding the capitalist patriachal power structure and you have the option of not doing it you shouldn’t be doing it.

(this post is kind of unfinished because I'm not sure where I'm taking it and would like others opinions)

Intro from Stray Girl

2006-05-29T23:27:00.000Z

I was going to launch into a post on saving the planet etc but I thought I should introduce myself first.

Um...poetry is awesome and the only thing that makes any sense. People do not generaly make sense and I often avoid them for this reason. We only have one planet so we should try and look after it. Gardening is fun and good for you and a kind of magic. Science is facinating but pretty much everything I know about science I taught myself so if I'm way of base feel free to tell me. I have some pseudo-paganistic thing going on because I think this society lacks rituals and rites of passage and also because it teaches us reverence for this sphere of rock we call home.

What is this, a competition?

2006-05-29T21:56:00.000Z

Listen up!

Some of us do look like stereotyipical feminists. I have really short scruffy hair, I bite my nails, I'm coverd in tattoos, I have an eybrow and a septum peircing, I never wear skirts, I don't shave my legs or undearms, I'm broad shoulderd and wide hipped, I never wear make up. I never wear heels, In fact due to problems with my ankles I only ever wear boots. I don't make apologies about the fact that there are only three men on the entire planet I give a shit about, And actualy I do care what people do in the bedroom because it bleeds over into society. So can we stop playing the "well I'm a radical feminist but i'm still girly" crap because it just reinforces the idea that those of us that don't ever do the cultural norm thing are humourless strawfeminists who just dont fit in.

Thanks

Not ready to make Nice

2006-05-26T21:42:00.000Z

So I’ve been listening to this song by the dixie chicks, all night

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round

And it’s been making me think. I know what I’m fighting for I just forget to be angry enough sometimes, not that I haven’t got enough to be angry about, just that I swallow too many lies about women’s anger being too much, about women’s experiences being unimportant.

Anger is seen as so ugly, so unnecessary, but the biggest lie is that anger is destructive, that it breaks things, damages things, anger it too often equated with violence and as we know violence isn’t ladylike

But really anger is energy and energy is a neutral force, it is how it is channelled that makes it good or bad, destructive or creative. And as we learnt at school energy can neither be created or destroyed and if women don’t express their anger it has to go somewhere and too often it is either turned negatively inwards upon ourselves or negatively sideways upon other women. While we are busy destroying ourselves or tearing strips of each other the cause of our anger gains ground.

For many years of my life I have had issues with eating disorders and self harm and it is only when I project my anger outwards to the cause of these issues that I can get a grip on them, that I can see them as reinforcing all the negative messages this patriarchal society has left me with.

I need this anger; I need this anger to keep me standing up, to keep me pushing to where I want to be, to keep fighting for a world I want to live in. And it’s not about getting to a point of forgiveness, of working through my anger of letting anyone of the hook. If every woman matters then I will be angry till every woman is safe. In fact not even just that, I will be angry till every silenced person has a voice. This is my life force; this is what keeps me breathing when life is so damn hard

Mary Daly in Outercourse: Rage is not “a stage”. It is not something to be gotten over. It is a transformative, focusing force

Yeah, and if you don’t understand what I’m fighting for or why I’m fighting go and read a book or twenty, if you still don’t get it you’re obviously not on my side and I’m not playing ball with you.

Public service anouncements and such

2006-05-26T20:03:00.000Z

1)I have linked to blogs that catch my eye in no particular order. If you don't want me to link to you say so and I will sort it out. I wont take offence.

2)Now this may seem really petty but it's important to me, my name is very deliberatly spelt with a lowercase "n", that is it is "nectarine" not "Nectarine"

3)I have added a new team member to the blog: Stray Girl who will most likely be pontificating on:The importance of poetry in our lives, environmental activism, the politics of science, and what idiots the Inteligent Design bunch are. Though I don't know how often she will write, not as often as me I shouldn't think.

Loosing either way

2006-05-25T16:25:00.000Z

As women society always tries to silence us and I’ve noticed as a feminist it has two main ways of doing that. (I mean obviously it has many ways but I’m talking about when we are trying to argue feminist discourse.)

Response number 1 Well it’s never happened to you/ you are not one of those people/ you don’t know what its like for those people so you can’t comment/judge.

Which as an argument assumes that
a) Just because I don’t say I have had certain experiences means I haven’t.
b) I have never read a book or spoken to anyone else in different situations from myself in my whole life.
It totally ignores that men have and always have had a universal voice that gives men the right to claim knowledge of any experience whatsoever, weather it has happened to them or not.

In The left hand of darkness when searching for a pronoun for an alien race all of which were physically the same the protagonist argues

I must say he for the same reason we use the masculine pronoun in referring to a transcendent god: it is less defined, less specific, than the neuter or the feminine

which basically means it is more universal, more all encompassing, and by extention the expireinces of powerfull men are the only imporatnt experiences there are. (I know this is an old book but it still holds now and it is a perfect quote.)

Response number 2 well you only feel like that because xyz happened to you, you’re just biased

Ok so my experiences don’t matter? I mean nobody is un biased. It is not possible for human beings to be unbiased. The only reason people think it is possible to be “unbiased” is because the capitalist patriarchal power structure teaches them that the “universal voice” is unbiased whilst using it to ride roughshod over anyone who it creates as Other. Just because I’m biased doesn’t mean I’m wrong!

Hunt argues
The dominant discourses of our time are rarely challenged so much so that we are often in danger of forgetting that alternative discourses exist.
This is why they do not want us to speak, do not want us to remind or even make people aware for the first time that the voice of the patriarchy is not the voice of all of us (or even I would argue, most of us.) They dont want any of us to know that there can be alternative discourses and by extension alternative ways of relating to each other and the world. So they will argue anyway they can to shut us up, even if they have to contradict themselves to do it.

Shout it out anyway, someone will hear it!

Sleeping with the fundies?

2006-05-23T02:54:00.000Z

Ok now I’m pissed. Somebody in the comments section of another blog heavily insinuatied that because I am anti- porn I am “aligning myself with the religious right” excuse me?

Because obviously the religious right has always had mine and every other women on the planets best interest at heart. You know the way they fight for equal pay and abortion rights and all.

Which is akin to saying if I’m a vegetarian I’m aligning myself with fascism ‘cos you know Hitler was a vegetarian

I can only talk about the Judaeo-Christian tradition because Its all I know

but why don’t we look at that much touted feminist tome “The Bible”?

To the woman he [g-d] said “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing…and he[the husband] will rule over you. Gen3:16

when a woman has her regular flow of blood…anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.Lev15:19

If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with [rapes] her, 24 you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you.. Deut 22:23-24

If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. [c] He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. Deut 22:28-29

man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 1 cor 11 7-9

women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church..1 cor 34-35

woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.1 tim 11-12

Not to mention all the misogynistic crap that the fundie weirdoes have made up all on their very ownsome with out the help of a badly translated collection of myths.

Why the hell would I align my self with people who believed thisz junk?
These people are the extreme end of the status quo (it's teeth if you like) It is those who are pro-porn who aligning themselves with the sentiments quoted above not those of us who critique it.

It is religion( via Cartesian dualism) that creates the need for porn in the first place, first by forcing women into a submissive place in the hierarchy and then making sex the most sinful dirty thing you can do so obviously men don’t do things “like that” with their partners because they are “good girls” doncha know? While they can do what they like with the women in porn/prostitution are “bad-girls” (Madonna/whore complex anyone?) This also neatly uses the capitalist trick of “divide and rule” to seriously weakening any powerbase we as women may have to fight from.

I AM ANTI_PORN BECAUSE IT DEGRADES WOMEN AND TREATS THEM AS OTHER

Why am I anti the religious right?
Oh yeah because it degrades women and treats them as other.

Any group can take what any other group says and use it completely out of context for their own purposes. I am not going to stop telling the truth because a bunch of mad fundies might pretend to agree with me to further their own agenda..

I might edit this in the morning but for now its late and I'm angry.

The words we use

2006-05-20T22:46:00.000Z

So I bought two books recently, UnSpeak and Not For Sale: Feminists resisting prostitution and pornography

Due to looming deadlines I haven’t had time to read all of either of them., and I shall review them both properly when I have done so. From what I have read so far Unspeak seems important and worth while but the style is less than gripping and Not For Sale seems to be quite awesome. Either way I am going to refer to them both in this post.

The premise of Unspeak is how language in the political sphere uses seemingly innocuous phrases or labels that actually inherently package a whole bundle of notions, arguments and biases that are not always obvious on the surface but still have the ability to change the way issues are viewed.

The author explains that “As an unspeak phrase becomes a widely used term of public debate it tends to saturate the mind with one viewpoint to make an opposing view ever more difficult to enunciate.

I am going to argue that this is exactly why pro-porn “feminists” call them selves “sex positive” “pro-sex” or “Sex radicals” In a culture that is scaffolded by binary opposites it is almost automatic for those who don’t critique the culture around them to reach the conclusion that if those who are pro-porn are also pro-sex then not only are porn and sex the same thing then those of us Feminists who are not “pro-porn” must be “sex-negative” anti-sex” and “sex-conservatives”

Haven’t we heard this before?

In Not for sale Stark argues: To sex radicals, any political critique of pornography and prostitution as violence against women and children is deemed anti-sex, anti-male, censoring, prudish and judgemental

Doesn’t this sound exactly like what men throw at us when we are arguing for our and every other women’s rights?

To begin with I would argue that women who are pro-porn/pro-prostitution cannot be feminists by default. If feminism is: the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes,
then any practice that has been proved beyond doubt to both uphold and encourage the absolute opposite of this can not possibly be compatible with feminism.

Secondly anti-porn is not the same as anti-sex I remember a quote that stuck in my head though I cant remember where it came from If you hit someone over the head with a frying pan you don’t call it cooking. In the same way the emotional and physical erosion of body boundaries and sense of self that arises out of women being used for porn or prostitution is not about the egalitarian connectivity which is what I consider “Sex” to be.

And as for “sex-radicalism” well: Stark again:

True sex-radicalism would mean recognising structures of inequality and oppression, working towards egalitarian relationships, and aligning with those…who do not have social or political power-such as women and children hurt in pornography and prostitution or lesbians against lesbian pornography

Which is about as from what the “Pro-porn” crowd actually do as it is possible to get.

I’m really wary of the whole act of “reclaiming words” because I am aware how slippery and nebulous language can be but really I think I should start calling myself “a sex positive, sex radical, radical feminist” because that is what I am

Sex is an act of creation (and I’m not talking baby making, I’m talking a bout the creation of deep rich human connections) And porn is an act of destruction. Just because I wish to see the eradication of one does not mean I don’t get a lot of joy, pleasure, and satisfaction from the other.

"But he's a nice guy really!"

2006-05-20T15:21:00.000Z

This post is about something I’ve been thinking about for a while and decided to write about after a recent conversation with a friend. I’ve seen a lot of posts about the nice guy phenomenon and I think I’m just taking it from a different angle.

Last year I and some of my friends lived with a guy who treated his girlfriend like shit. He lied to her on a regular basis, he often came home completely tanked up, he yelled at her, he threw things at her so god knows what else was going on. No I didn’t call him on it, maybe I should have done but he is considerably bigger than me and could be very aggressive, however I never thought of him as a friend and I avoided him if at all possible. Anyway another friend was talking about him and said “I really miss him sometimes, he was a lot of fun” and I was like “but he was a bastard to his girlfriend” and she only started seeing the other side when I reminded her that he had also threatened another woman with a pair of scissors.

Is this about ownership? Are men still perceived to own their partners so what they do to them isn’t as bad as if they did it to other women? Partly I think some of the problem was the women I was having this conversation with was, at the time of knowing the man in question, in a very destructive relationship herself so any analysis of anyone else’s relationship would have been too close to the bone for her.

But still the point is that I hate the way when a guy treats women like crap other people come to his defence with “oh but he’s a nice guy really!”

I think there are two different angles on this

1) From the friend who proclaims that even though he treats his girlfriend like shit he’s still a nice guy as if men get special dispensation for treating their partners badly because they are somehow less important than their friends

2) From the current girlfriend who although he uses porn, makes sexist remarks, eyes up other women or is unbelievably misogynistic about his ex girlfriends proclaims “oh he’s not like that with me because he loves me”

Anybody that treats anybody like shit is not a good person and there is no excuse for turning a blind eye on it just because you want to be friends with this person. Why would you want to be friends with someone who treated someone else like crap anyway? I don’t care how much fun you have with him, how important he is to your life. Really if men who you consider your friends behave like this call them on it and if they continue to do so ditch them and tell them why

If you are in a relationship with someone like this explain how his behaviour is so far from acceptable. If he refuses to listen or refuses to change leave him, really if he can’t see other women as human he is not going to see you as one.

Good guys, really good guys (not the ones who whine about being “nice” all the time) do not treat women like shit. Really, it’s that simple.

Apathy as a political stance?

2006-05-20T02:46:00.000Z

Too many times have I heard this “

Oh I’m just not political, oh I don’t like thinking about politics

everybody is political whether they think they are or not If you think you are not political then chances are you are just so completely enmeshed in the capitalist patriarchal homophobic racist consumer culture infrastructure that you cant see the woods for the trees.

Every single thing you do is political. The refusal to educate yourself about the world, about life, about people is a political act, where you shop, what you eat, what you wear, who you’re friends are, your sexuality, the way you choose to structure your important relationships, the job you do, the way you bring up your children, the books you read. Every single damn thing.

But everybody’s equal now

No, no, they are not. Women can’t get abortions, women get paid less than men, women still do two thirds of the house work even if they have a full time job. Racism is rife both institutionally and domestically. People still are homeless and go hungry. People still get denied the right to asylum. Too many women are in violent relationships, too many women get raped. Mixed sex couples still have more rights than same sex couples. There’s enough money in the system to fight a completely pointless useless immoral war but not enough to provide people with the healthcare and education that they need. How is any of this equality?

I just don’t care enough yet, and when I do then I will do something about it

Christ on a fucking bike when people start caring it will be too late. When your basic human rights start getting infringed you wont have the resources to change the system.

This is not a game.

Yes I sit around talking philosophy and politics for hours because I enjoy it but the reason I enjoy it is because it helps me understand how the world works and gives me ways to try and change it. Damn its uncomfortable, it takes time and effort and sometimes sacrifices. Often it isn’t fun, often it’s lonely hard work for no obvious reward, but I do it because it matters.

The system we live in works on the common sense agenda that you will think the status quo is somehow an apolitical vacuum and only extremes of that or reactions to it are political entities. They give you bread and circuses (for the most) so you don’t notice what’s happening behind the scenes.

If you are not actively trying to change things then you are upholding a murderous, traitorous , amoral system that doesn’t give a shit about you We are all expendable in this society, some of us are more expendable than others, but we are all expendable. And we damn well shouldn’t be

Stand up and fucking fight!

Here is I

2006-05-20T01:26:00.000Z

I suppose my main political “label” would be feminist and pretty radical at that. Women matter to me, all women matter to me. All women should be safe from cultural and religious practices that damage them emotionally or physically or stop them fulfilling their potential. Women should be treated as humans with the same rights as men. And no I am not advocating that women should become as aggressive and porn obsessed as masculinity constructs men in the cultures we live in. For feminism to work both the definitions of masculinity and femininity have to change radically (or be abolished.) We have to get rid of the “Male/culture/good” “Female/nature/bad” binary splits for woman to be seen as people, as equals

Having said that it’s important to me that we see how the whole system connects itself together. We need to take a multi pronged approach to change things so although everything in this blog will be from a rad fem perspective (call me on it if you think it isn’t) I will be discussing issues that are not traditionally seen to be part of feminism. (by the mainstream anyway, I think everything connects back to feminism.)

And just so you know what you are getting, I am:
Pro-choice
Pro-education for everyone
Kinda-sorta Anti-nuclear family (in theory but I don’t know how to work it in practice)
Anti-porn
Anti-prostitution (but not-anti women who work as prostitutes)
Anti-war
Anti-capitalism/consumer culture
Pro-environment
Atheist
Bisexual

Oh and something that drives me crazy? The way the phrase “Sex positive” has been hijacked to mean “Pro-porn” really I think I will write a whole post on just that.